BARNABY: .....

BARNABY: ...It seems that our time is up.

BARNABY: Today's session went rather well, don't you think?

BARNABY: I hope that you are able to take something useful away from it.

BARNABY: Well, allow me to show you out.

BARNABY: .....

BARNABY: Oh, but before you go.....

BARNABY: Here.

BARNABY: Perhaps this may be of some use to you.

BARNABY: Please take some time to read it before you move on.

Addressing Problematic Relationships With The Internet: A Brief Introduction.

Written by Dr. B Crawford.

An important note: Our goal is not to separate you from the endless wonders that the Internet is able to offer. We actively encourage an adventurous Online experience. It is absolutely normal to pass time and seek entertainment Online, but it is important to recognise when your Online usage spirals out of control and begins to have an effect on your mental health, social health, focus in work or school, mood, hobbies, and other factors in your day to day life.
We aim to help equip you with the necessary tools that may help you begin to extract negative Online experiences from your life.

An important note: This advice is largely inapplicable to those who plan to partake in, or are a participant of, an Online Afterlife. Please contact Helen Crawford at OMITTED OMITTED for more information.


Thank you for choosing to move on with us.

Removing insidious Online experiences from your day-to-day life is a tough process that can take many years. The true effects of such addictions are unknown; as the public Internet has only been around for some thirty years. It's potential effects on humanity, both good and bad, are yet to be truly seen. Your journey will be unique and personal to you, ergo you may find that different tactics will or will not work for you compared to how they may work for others.

Please use this advice as a starting point in your journey.

Identify problem areas.

In order to properly begin to address your negative relationship with the Internet, it is important to first identify specifically the habits which are causing the strain in the first place. If you are not sure already what these habits are, take a few days to live as you would, but all while paying extra attention to your usage of the Internet, and how it may be causing a disturbance among your day to day Online and Physical experiences.

Take small steps to reduce negative impact.

Once you have identified problematic areas, it is possible to start taking some action. Depending on what this may be, there are different approaches to take.
Note: It may be useful to do some research relating to your identified problem areas - for example, if you are finding that smartphone notifications are pulling you away from tasks for a significant amount of time, researching smartphone application design can help you to understand why this is causing a disturbance for you. For this particular problem, we recommend The Social Dilemma (2020).

Here are some potential steps that may be applicable to you:

  • On smart devices, set notifications to silent. In some cases, you may wish to block notifications from showing on your lock screen unless you enter the app, or even at all. Every application will have various settings that allow you to toggle how notifications will appear. It may be worth spending some time tweaking these settings as you see fit to benefit you.
  • Many browsers allow for extensions or applications to be added which can blacklist certain websites for a chosen amount of time, or perhaps even on a daily/weekly schedule. For example, you may work from home, but find yourself distracted by other websites. You could then block these websites for the hours you intend to work. Consider looking into what applications are available for your chosen browser.
    As a fan of botany myself, I recommend the application Forest, which can be used on both browsers and smart devices.

Reach out to friends, family, and other means of support.

Having a poor relationship with the Online may feel as though it is something shameful. This is only reinforced by the taboo nature of recognising that such a wonderful tool can in fact have a negative impact on one's life, especially with such little mainstream recognition of the problem, and even less research on the matter. However, you may find that speaking to others about this can help break this taboo, and even reveal to you many others who are facing a similar problem.

Speak to a therapist.

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Distance yourself from the device.

In some cases, it may be necessary to physically distance yourself from the device in question if you are finding it difficult to do things that do not require usage of it. The Internet is a part of daily life, so this may be a difficult or impossible step to take for you.

  • Out of sight, out of mind - depending on the size of the device, you may find putting it in a drawer, or away in another room, can help you carry on with tasks or give you more free-time. You can also ask a friend to keep your device out of sight for you.
  • If you experience significant issues with a smart device, you might consider swapping it for a "dumb" device, or a device without the same capabilites to access the Internet as your current might.
  • Consider incinerating your device in a fire. A "cold turkey" approach to distancing yourself from your device may be beneficial to you.

Once again, it is important to reiterate that these are only potential starting points, and that you may find some suggestions to not be suitable.

If you have any further questions, or have further concerns about your relationship to the Internet, please feel free to contact Dr. Barnaby Crawford at the following:

  • Telephone: OMITTED OM
  • e-Mail: OMITTED OMIT
  • Via post:

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We hope to see you on the other side.

To be revised in OMITTED.